Jason
by SoWhelmed
Summary: Tim thoughts about how Jason felt before he died


_A/N Wrote this a while ago after watching under the red hood. Again. For like the seventh time, a__nd I was really depressed for Jason, and Tim. __So this happened. Hope it makes sense to everyone._

_Also, one of my friends and I write thigns together, we trade parts on and off, and we're posting our first completed on here: s/8958449/1/Injustice_

Check it out please?

And R&R. Didn't really edit it that much so excuse mistakes and all that jazz..

_One.. Two... Three... The crowbar comes down again and again striking the same spot that lost feeling ages ago, but still causes the weak body to shudder. Manical laughter fills the air. Blakcness closing in. Now all you can hear is shaky weak breath with the thudd, thudd,thudd, of the crowbar. You ca't keep your eyes open. Fading... All you want to do is die... All you want is for him to save you..._

_Then you realize, he's not comming._

_He never comes. _

You sit up screaming. Your head throbs. Jason's dead, not you. You're still here, you're still safe. You won't make the same mistakes he did. You can't. bruce wouldn't let you. Yet that voice nags you. _He let me die._ No. No, he didn't, you're lieing! Laughter clouds your brain and you press your hands to your ears. It only gets louder. Laughing, laughing. Stop, STOP! You have to move on. He's dead. It's all you can hear, all you can think. Your mentor. Not the one in the cowl and cape. Not the one who trains you not to be like the other. Not like the one you admire the most. Not like the one you look up to, strive to live up to.

Jason.

The mistake. The fallen hero. The screw up. The Brave solider.

Older brother.

Your eyes sting as you try to push the ghost away. He doesn't leave, you can pretend he does but he's always there. He's there in Nightwings smile. In Bruce's eyes. Batman's scowl. Dick's laugh.

but he's not. he's gone and he's never comming back. And you want to be like him. You want to be him. You want to be braave, to be strong.

You want to be missed.

You want to be remembered.

You want to be free.

Free.

Free like a bird with two strong wings. You want to fly, be able to do things your own way. You want to be able to be your own person, not "third in line for a shadow job."

You want to be protected. Because of him, you ive in the shadows of others. Never alone, someones always there to save you.

but then again...

You want to be him.

You want to be fast on your feet, with his snide remarks. You want to be able to be a better Robin. You practice as much as you can with out your bo staff. You want to be more like him.

You want to be loved.

It's all you've ever wanted. The one that towers over you. You try your best but you can't measure up. You're not Dick, and you're not Jason. You're the third in line. You're not the first replacment, you're not original. Sure, you're nothing like your "brothers", but that's not nesicarily a bad thing.

laughter clouds your head again, and black eats at the edges of your vision. The thudd, thudd, thudd, doesn't reach your ears, the blood in your head is louder. You can't think. You stare at the spot in front of you.

Hope.

Your blood covers the floor, but that spot holds hope.

He's comming. he won't leave you like him left him. He always comes. Your eyes fell heavy but you refuse to give in.

He's comming.

Comming.

He's...

Black. Blackness. Your still concious. You can hear the screams from the world around you. Their distant, but there. Then your flying.

No...

Your being lifted up.

Robin...

You open your eyes to the face of nightmares.

But you smile. He doesn't, his eyes burn into your soul but you love it. Every second of it.

Because he saved you.

You..

Why are you worthy of saving?

You're worth no more than he was, yet he wasn't saved. Do you deserve it? All of the sudden you feel guilty. Yu should have died. You would've. But you didn't. You can't. Not on his watch.

Bats..

Crazy. Crazy that your hope is the one that rational people fear. You smile tasting copper in your mouth, on your lips.

Then your gone.

You let the blackness take over knowing that your safe, knowing that you'll live another day. One more. One more day of striving to be like him. Them. All of them, but mostly him.

You don't wake up until your safe. You're in pain but safe. Your wounds are covered and the blood is gone. You smile to yourself thankful for the one who saved you. The one who loves you.

Father?

Not quiet, but family.

_He let me die. _

The voice still haunts you but you know it's not true.

_No, Jason. he didn't let you die. he just wasn't fast enough.._

_Never fast enough..._

_Not on time.._

_Time.._

_Clock ticking, counting down. Five, four,Three, Two, One. _

_He didn't come._

_He never came for you Jason._

_He never did._

_Never..._


End file.
